Fruits Basket M Preg Oneshots
by Kuro Kyohaku
Summary: Well, the title kind of explains it all. All the ukes and semes in hilarious scenes! Kyo faints, Yuki is the perfect uke, and Momiji wants a kid!
1. Yuki X Kyo

All right, first up is Yuki X Kyo. Personally one of my favorite pairs… Say hello kiddies!

Yuki: What is the point of this? And there is no way that having a zodiac spirit would make it possible for _guys_ to become pregnant!

Shut up! The authoress makes the rules!

Kyo: Yeah, ya damn rat, listen to the kind, wonderful authoress _who makes us do stuff_. Beware Yaoi Fangirls…

…Well on with the story! Ayame X Shigure if you squint and tilt your head in this one…

Kyo came home to a very nervous Yuki, a weary Hatori, and an amused Shigure. Tohru looked clueless, as always…

"Is…Something wrong?" The cat asked apprehensively, dropping his backpack to the ground and kicking of his shoes.

Yuki blushed darkly, Hatori sighed, Shigure laughed, and Tohru smiled her trade mark dumb smile. "Congratulations, Kyo!" She gushed out happily.

"…Congratulations for what?" He said. _Maybe I should have kept my shoes on…_

The door slammed open. "Oh, my poor Otouto! Kyonkichi, you better take responsibility!" Ayame glomped onto his little brother, and Kyo shivered in sympathy.

"What the hell are you talking about, ya damn snake!" Kyo yelled, throwing a nearby book at Ayame.

Yuki caught the book and glared at Ayame. "Get off, and leave Kyo alone. In fact, everyone but Hatori and Kyo need to leave!"

Shigure pouted. "But I want to see the Nekobaka's face when he finds out!"

Yuki leveled a glare at him and threw the book. "Get. Out. You. Stupid. Mutt."

Shigure grabbed Ayame's hand. "Come on Aya! Let's go somewhere else!" They backed out the door with Kyo growling the whole time.

Tohru smiled again. "I'll, um, go, um, talk to Uo and Hana on the phone!" She turned and ran up the stairs.

Hatori sighed. "I found out this morning that male zodiac members can carry children. Momiji is pregnant." He spoke slowly, keeping an eye on Kyo.

Yuki put a hand on Hatori's arm. "Kyo, why don't you sit down first?" Kyo suspiciously stalked over to sit by Yuki. "What does that have to do with me and Yuki?"

Yuki hit him lightly over the head. "Kyo, don't be dense! _I'm _pregnant, with _your_ child!" There was a loud bang, and Yuki flinched. "Kyo? Kyo! Answer me!"

"Ah…I see lots of stars…And pretty lights…Nighty nights Yuki-hime." Yuki glared. "If you weren't acting inebriated and I wasn't pregnant, I would _so_ be kicking your sorry cat ass into next year!"

Nekobaka's = Idiot Cat. Shigure's being rude.

Hime = Princess, so basically, Kyo thinks of Yuki as his princess. And some people don't think Kyo is romantic.

Yuki: Yeah, like me!

Rat, you really shouldn't annoy me…Tell them what the next one is going to be!

Yuki: Me X Hatsuharu…

Oh and if you need me to be your English dictionary, too, inebriated = drunk, seriously drunk.


	2. Yuki X Hatsuharu

Okay! Now for Yuki X Hatsuharu! And~ here they are!

Yuki: Why am I _always_ the uke! I don't wanna be pregnant, and I do _not_ blush that easily!

Haru: Wow, Yuki, you must have really pissed Ms. Kyohaku off. It's either that or you just make the perfect uke and there is no one more uke-ish than you. Well, except Momiji, or maybe the monkey…

Nope! I am a firm believer that Yuki is purely gay and the ultimate uke! Which is why he acts so distant around all the pretty girls in the school! And he simply no one can alter the fact that he looks way too girlish to be straight!

Kyo: Apparently the beautiful Ms. Kuro likes me, because I am married to Tohru and already have a kid. Oh, and everybody is in their early twenties or so in this particular one.

Right. Normally I have them as teenagers, but they're adults here.

Yuki ran a hand over his slowly growing stomach and sighed. Hatsuharu glanced over from the bookshelf and smiled. "Yuki? Are you feeling alright? Hatori says you shouldn't stress yourself…You're not regretting the baby, are you?"

Yuki smiled and reached out to grab the ox's hand. "I feel perfectly fine, and of course I'm not regretting it. That's why we're here, after all…I really want this baby." He gave a sweet smile and allowed the younger (but taller) man to pull him into a hug.

"Haru! This is a public library!" "And it's owned by Kyo and Tohru, which is why we're meeting them here. They both know that your stomach is super sizing thanks to _our_ child."

Yuki blushed a little and buried his head into his lover's shoulder. "Every one outside the inner family thinks I'm just getting fat…"

Hatsuharu leaned down and kissed the silvery locks. "Even if that were the reason, I would still love you. And I can't believe we're going to have a baby in five months!" He whispered happily. Yuki was glad his face was hidden and nodded.

"Me too…" He said softly. Haru chuckled and held him closer. "The best thing is that it's _our_ child." Yuki shivered and pulled the man closer.

Smiling secretly, Yuki nuzzled Haru's chest. "Who knew you could be so romantic? And to think people called you emotionless." He teased gently.

Hatsuharu suddenly swept the rat up bridle-style. "Haru!" Yuki gasped, and flung his arms around the ox's neck. "Put me down! This is embarrassing!"

"Aw, but you two look so adorable that way!" Tohru, holding her two-year-old son's hand, walked up to them, snapping a picture with her free hand. Shigure had rubbed off on her long ago, and she was no longer so stupidly innocent. "Does Kyo know you two are here?"

"Aunt Yuki! Uncle Haru!" The orange-haired child ran up to them and grabbed their hands. "Have you decided What the baby's name is gonna be?"

Haru and Yuki smiled. "That's why we're here. We decided on Sora, even if it's a boy." Tohru smiled and clapped her hands. "That's a beautiful name! Don't you think, Kyo dear?" The orange-haired man, who had mellowed out after marrying Tohru, appeared beside her and smiled.

"Yeah, it's a great name. C'mon Kasai, leave Auntie Yuki and Uncle Haru alone." The child pouted, but did as his father told him to. Tohru giggled, still a teenaged girl at heart. "Well, we have some good news, so it's wonderful that you're here."

She placed her hands tenderly on her stomach and leaned into Kyo. The cat smiled and wrapped an arm around her. "Tohru's pregnant again." He said proudly.

Yuki smiled as Haru let him down. "That's great. I'm happy for you two!" Haru nodded. "You should really use protection more often though." Kyo glared at him. "Don't say stuff like that in front of Kasai!" He hissed.

Kasai tugged on his father's shirt hem. "What's Uncle Haru talking about?" Kyo leaned down and ruffled his sons hair. "I'll tell you when it's needed, kiddo. By the way, you aren't allowed to visit Uncle Shigure or Aunt Ayame without me or Yuki present, all right?"

"Okay, daddy! Can I go to my room and practice shape shifting now?" Tohru smiled at her son. "Sure, sweetie. Don't meow though, you have to be careful." Kasai turned into a small orange and white kitten and bounded towards the door.

Yuki smiled. "It's a good thing he can change at will. You never have to worry about him getting kidnapped. I wonder if Sora will be able to do that as well." Haru shrugged.

"I hope not. Remember how many curtains Kasai shredded before Kyo could get him to understand that he wasn't supposed to do that? What if our child takes after me and is a bull?"

Well, there we go.

Yuki: Why does Haru have to treat me like a little girl? _And I do not blush that easily!_

Haru: Honey, calm down. Wow, you pissed the authoress off.

Yuki: Just who else am I going to get pregnant with, huh?

Hmmm, I'm planning on Ayame, Shigure, a threesome with you, Kyo, and Haru-

Haru: …I'm on top, aren't I?

Yes, now shut up. Yuki is also in another threesome with Kyo and Shigure.

Yuki: WHY! AND THAT WAS A RHETORICAL QUESTION!

Because you are the ultimate uke, I already told you. Kyo is also with Hatsuharu, Shigure (which is up next) and the threesomes I mentioned.

Kyo: WTH! I'm with the damn Dog of all people! I would rather be with Akito!

Akito: Why thank you, but since I'm a girl and Kuro-Chan is a Yaoi fangirl, that won't happen.

Haru: So you're okay with being impregnated by me? Didn't know you enjoyed being done by younger men.

Kyo: Gah! Where did Akito come from! And get the hell away from me, Ox!

Akito appeared from my imagination. Now shut up before I put you with Ayame!

Kyo: …

Good. There will also be a Hatori X Momiji, and an Ayame X Shigure.


	3. Kyo X Shigure

Well, as I said in the last chapter, Kyo X Shigure!

Kyo: Damn dog…Why, of all the people you could have put me with, why him?

Shigure: 'Cause we're just the most awesome pairing out there of course!

I'm pretty sure that's not it, but that's okay if you want to think it! On with the story!

Shigure had been teasing Tohru and Yuki about their third child on the way when a desperate call from Hatsuharu distracted him. That is why he was currently drinking tea in his old friend's house curiously watching a completely hysterical Kyo.

"Shigure, do you have any idea why Kyo is asking for abortion?" Hatori had given up on getting the cat to answer and had come over to sit beside the dog.

Shigure shrugged. "No idea. I don't know why he's so hysterical either."

"Hysterical? _Hysterical_! _I have every right to be a little freaked out! I'm carrying the spawn of Satan!_" Kyo screamed. Momiji was bouncing around like a ball of super-condensed energy. On Speed.

Shigure was confused for a second. "Kyo, stop being a Nekobaka. Calm down and explain whatever it is you're so upset about." For once, he was serious. Kyo took a deep breath and trotted over to sit sullenly in the dog's lap.

"I…Took one of those tests Shigure gave all of us, the ones to see if we were pregnant? Well, I only took it as a joke, I didn't _want_ to be pregnant!" Kyo's voice started to rise, and Shigure comfortingly petted his head.

Kyo relaxed a little, falling silent. He nuzzled gently closer to Shigure's chest, breathing in the familiar scent. "I'm pregnant…With your baby girl. Congrats, Hatori, your tests are very detailed."

Hatori smiled slightly. "I wonder if your child will be a fox? And anyways, this means you can't tease me and Momiji anymore." Momiji chuckled and dive-bombed his seme. "Ha'ri, play with me! The kind that you make everyone else leave for!"

Kyo nearly choked with withheld laughter, while Shigure openly howled. "C'mon, Nekobaka, obviously the seahorse and the rabbit want some alone time!"

Kyo looked at him. "That's all you're gonna say when I tell you I'm pregnant?" He asked in annoyance. Shigure shrugged. "I saw the test in the trash this morning before Ha'ri called. What do you think of the name Kitsune, considering…"

The cat nuzzled against the dog. "I like it. I just hope Kitsune doesn't act like you."

Say it with me! KAWAII!

Kyo: …Well the fox bit _was_ kind of adorable…I would probably be okay with this if it was anybody but Shigure!

Shigure: That's cold, Kyo! And I was so loving to my little pregnant Uke!

Kyo: We both know it's impossible for you to be serious, so that couldn't have happened. Huh, I wonder what a pairing between me and Hatori would be like… Oh jeez, I have been spending way too much time with Kuro!

Why yes, yes you have. But I appreciate it and might add that pairing. Love from the Ukes and jealousy from the semes!


End file.
